The Darkness Inside Isn't You
by LittleMs.MoroiPrincess
Summary: This is what I think should have happened after Blood Promise. After returning from Russia Rose's past comes to find her once again. Will she live long enough to see her fairytale ending come true? Or will she die first?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the vampire Academy franchise Rachelle Mead does.**

**Hey guys, my name is Jess and I am a complete Vampire Academy fan geek! I also love to write. This is my very first fanfiction EVER! Needless to say I was not entirely pleased with The way Spirit Bound Played out. ( don't get me wrong, it's still a great book) I AM TOTALLY A TEAM DIMITRI KIND OF GIRL! (NO I do NOT hate Adrian!) This is my version it picks up after blood promise. HOPE YOU ENJOY! **

**Note: I welcome all types of reviews, good and bad. So tell me what you REALLY think :) **

**RATED M for... Dark themes, swearing, moderate violence and lemons! **

Chapter 1: A Haunting Past

Rose's Point Of View

I had been in the clinic for about three and a half days under the watchful eye of the academy's

staff, Lissa and I had been practicing spirit a lot lately and it had taken it's toll on Lissa and therefore

me as well. Spirit's craziness had almost taken me over completely and I almost hadn't been strong

enough to fight it. The added stress from the situation with Dimitri didn't help me much ether.

"Are you sure you'll be okay if I don't stay with you tonight?" Lissa asked as she walked me down to

my dorm.

"Yeah Liss I'll be fine. I just need to be alone for awhile." I felt her panic through the boned.

"Rose I don't think that's the best idea." she said, as we reached the door to my dorm.

"Lissa I'll be fine. I'm just going to get some sleep, go see Christian!" I said trying to sound

as happy as possible. I was glad they were trying to patch things up between them. After I convinced Lissa that I would be fine by myself for awhile she left, promising she would come back to check on me later.

I went into my room and went straight to my computer to check my E-mail. There was a

message from my mother. She had been notified by the academy when my incident occurred.

It was wearied, but my mother was really worried about me. I wasn't quite use to that yet. I quickly

typed a message to send her, telling her I was fine and reassuring her not to worry. I pressed send and

then shut down my computer.

I sat at my desk listening to the silence for a short time before searching though my desk for a hairbrush. I opened the top drawer of my desk and started digging though it when my eyes came across something familiar. It was something Alberta had given me. It was a picture of Dimitri. I picked up the photograph and began tracing my fingers across it as I looked into the eyes of the old Dimitri. I hadn't realized I was crying until some tears fell down onto the photograph. I put the photograph back in the drawer, face down. I could not afford to think about him now

As I climbed into to bed I tried to clear my head so I could get some sleep, but instead I just lied there. I don't know how long I stayed like that, thinking about all that had happened since I came back to the academy, before someone knocked on my door I got up,crossed the room and opened the door. A delivery boy stood in the doorway with a small envelope in his hand.

"Are you Rose Hathaway?" he asked

"yes." He gave me the envelope. "who is it from?" I asked

He shrugged "I don't know." and then he walked away.

I shut my door and went back to sit on my bed. I opened the letter and began to read.

_Rose,_

_ I told you I would come for you. Meet me in the caves at midnight and come alone. We need to talk . _

_ Love D._

My hart skipped a beat and then began to race in my chest. Dimitri was here. "Oh shit." I said aloud to myself as reality sunk in. Dimitri was HERE! I went over to my closet and put on a light gray long sleeve turtleneck and dark jeans. I tied my hair back, throwing on the designer trench coat Lissa had given me, she'd had it altered to conceal all my weapons. It now held two guns, my silver stake, a box of matches and my cellphone.

I had to walk down the hall so that I wouldn't draw unwanted attention to myself. My watch said it was 11:30 I had to hurry. Once I was out of my dorm and away from the crowds of people I began to run. I had ran all the way to the parking lot before bumping into someone.

"Christian!" I exhaled in surprise. "I thought you were with Lissa!"

"I was, she just went in. Rose what the hell are you doing out here?" It was then that I saw he was parking his motorcycle, It had been a early gift from Tasha for graduation.

"Never mind that!" My words were coming out in a rush now. "Christian I need to barrow your motorcycle."

"Wait...What?" He asked confused.

" Please Christian. Please." I bagged. I couldn't believe I was bagging Christian of all people. Christian was looking at me with both concern and amusement before handing me the keys.

"Thank you Christian. Thank you!"

"Yah well... I always knew you were crazy"

"If anyone asks, tell them you haven't seen me." I told him as I got on the bike and started the engine.

"I know the drill!" he replied. Then I drove out of the parking lot.

When I was out of Christian's view I began to speed. I headed for a back road that lead to an other main road just outside the wards. As I neared my escape point I noticed that there were two guardians who were guarding the roads point of entry. Damn it! I knew I had to do something and fast. I pulled down on the throttle, going full speed. The guardians saw me, unfortunately for them I was moving too fast for them to stop me. Before I could even blink I past them, leaving only dust behind me.

The road was dark but my Dhampir eyes could see clearly. I drove at high speed until I reached the main road. I slowed down slightly, still way over the speed limit. As I past the familiar surroundings I was reminded of that night the academy set out to rescue those that had been taken from us. I remembered how I felt when I saw Dimitri get bitten, when I lost him. I also remembered how I felt on the bridge in Russia as I watched him fall, believing that he was truly lost to me... forever.

It was then as I relived all those feeling that I realized I just couldn't put myself through lousing Dimitri again. I would not kill him, could not kill him. All I could do was try to save him. Dimitri could kill me if that's what he wished. The only fate I would resist was becoming Strigoi. I began to speed up again, racing to what was sure to be my death.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi :) So, here is my second chapter I hope you like it! Please read and review! I LOVE feed back. **

**- Jess**

Chapter 2: Cold Dead Truths And One Last Chance

Roses Point Of View

I had reached the caves and again I thought of the rescue mission that had gone horribly wrong. Did Dimitri know how much this hurt me? Was that why he wanted me to meet him here so I would be vulnerable? I didn't know. Just as I passed the first cave the strigoi nausea swept over me. I came to a quick stop and got off the bike. When I turned around he was there, Dimitri was standing in the cave's entry

"Hello Rose," He greeted me. His voice was like ice, dangerous.

I nodded "Dimitri." I waited for what he would say next but he didn't say anything. Instead, Dimitri just stood there staring at me. I had no idea what he saw when he look at my face but when he did his face filled with an expression that was hard to read. Sadness?

"What do you want Dimitri?" I asked almost shouting at him

"I just figured you'd want an other chance at killing me." he replied, showing no emotion.

I shook my head. " I will not fight you Dimitri." My voice broke and I fought hard to hold myself together I dug through my pockets, taking out every weapon I had and dropped them at my side. I took a few steps foreword, Dimitri stepped foreword as well

"Very well then, fallow me." He said.

Every cell in my body told me not to but I couldn't help myself. Even as a strigoi my heart ached for him, for his presence. Dimitri led me deep into the cave. It was so dark, even for me. I hated that Dimitri had to live in darkness. We kept walking, I could see a small light up a head. When my eyes adjusted I could see what looked to me like a camp sight. There was a table with chairs, an air mattress with blankets and pillows. The light came from a lantern on a small side table, next to the lantern was one of Dimitri's favorite western novels.

"Sit down Rose." Dimitri gestured over to the table. I sat down in one of the chairs and Dimitri sat across from me. I didn't say anything, neither did he. Dimitri just looked in to my eyes as if he were looking for something. Finely, he spoke again.

"You look... different." He observed.

"How so?" I asked

" You look tired and you're so pale. Are you sick? Dimitri sounded concerned.

I shook my head "No. I'm not sick." I told him. This was not entirely true because about two hours or so ago I had just gotten released from the clinic after staying there for three and a half days. I wasn't ill, but I sure as hell wasn't in a healthy state of mind. The shadow kissed effects had taken a turn for the worst. I had become a danger to myself and others. In fact, the first twenty-four hours I spent in the clinic I had to be sedated. The only reason the doctor released me today was because I had Lissa compel her. So maybe I really was sick. It didn't matter, this was not something I was going to tell Dimitri about, not now.

"Look, Dimitri;" I said, voice hard. "just tell me what you needed to tell me and get on with it. You and I both know what you are going to do. So hurry up and just kill me already!" Dimitri reached across the table to take my hands in his as he looked me in the eyes and he was very serious.

"I will not kill you Rose, I can't." He took a deep breath then, abruptly Dimitri looked down at my hands.

"What-" He cut me off.

"Your wrists are bleeding!" He said shocked. I looked down at my wrists. Blood had soaked through my sleeves. Dimitri grabbed one of my sleeves and began pushing it up, revealing my blood soaked bandages.

"No! Dimitri don't." It was too late, Dimitri had pulled my sleeve all the way up.

He swore in Russian and began pulling the bandages off. His eyes widened and his face went livid, paler then usual. Dimitri lightly traced his fingers over the cuts across my wrist, it stung. From there his eyes fallowed a gash that went all the way up to the crease of my elbow. Dimitri swallowed hard. He pulled up my other sleeve, only to find the same thing but these cuts were deeper.

Dimitri starred at my arms for a long time as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. I pulled my arms away and his head snapped up. I looked away quickly.

"Roza... "What happened? Who..." his voice trailed off. I looked up at him then.

"Not all marks are badges of honor." I said in a quiet voice, quoting his words from long ago. Dimitri didn't say anything. "you were wrong." I told him. "I'm not strong."

"Rose you didn't!" Dimitri gasped.

I nodded.

"Roza!" he shouted, rushing over to kneel at my side. "What happened!"

"I...I should have died, I should be dead now. I wish I was." I whispered.

"No!" I could hear the anger and panic in his voice. I could see it in his face. "Rose you can't do this, I can't sit back and watch you destroy yourself!"

"Why do you care so much?" I asked. "In Russia-"

"I was trying to protect you." Dimitri interrupted. "Roza, I do love you. Please... let me help you. If I awaken you, you would be free... you could stay with me forever."

"It would only get worse." I tried to tell him but my voice was slurred. I must have lost more blood then I thought.

The room started to spin and my vision blurred. I tried to focus on Dimitri's face but, I couldn't. I began to fall foreword. Dimitri caught me by my sholders before I could hit the ground. My breathing became shallow. Dimitri gently set me down and then... everything went black.

I woke to the sound of Dimitri's voice.

" One, Two, Three. Come on Rose wake up! Wake up! Wake up Roza! Wake up!"

My eyelids fluttered open and I saw Dimitri, he was kneeling over me.

"Dimitri." I said, a little breathless. He swept my hair out of my face

"Roza." Dimitri gasped, relieved.

I got up slowly and noticed that Dimitri had re-bandaged my arms. When I stood up I staggered and Dimitri had to steady me. He helped me to my seat. After he was sure that I wasn't going to fall over again, he went over to his bag to retrieve a bottle of water and an apple. Dimitri handed them to me , I took them. He pulled his chair close to mine but didn't speak.

I took a drink of water. Dimitri kept his red-rimmed eyes locked on me, I looked back at him. We stayed like that, staring in each others eyes for a long time before I spoke.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Too long." He answered. "Rose you scared the hell out of me..." I looked down at the table.

"Eat." He ordered.

I took a bite of the apple, chewing slowly. I felt his eyes on me.

"Dimitri." I began, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. I looked up at him and his face was hard to read but I could see it was full of emotions; worry, sadness, love. It was so unnatural for a strigoi, but... not for Dimitri. Then it dawned on me

He was still Dimitri, he said he still cared about me and he proved it by saving me. That had to mean something. Maybe... maybe his feelings for me and my feelings for him meant that I had a good chance to save him, that a part of his soul was left untouched.

"If it was possible for me to stay with you forever I would...but I can't It would be wrong. I realize now that I fallowed you to Russia because I didn't know what else to do. I thought I was doing the right thing, I was wrong. No matter what happens...or what you've become I will always love you." I said softly. Are

Dimitri opened his mouth to speak but he didn't say anything. I took advantage of his speechlessness. This was my chance to keep him holding on to what separated him from other strigoi. Our love. I got up from my chair and went over to sit on his lap. Dimitri looked shocked, but he did not push me away, instead he slowly put his hands on my hips.

"Oh God, Rose I love you. How could you not see?" Dimitri asked softly.

This time I was speechless. Dimitri moved his face closer to mine. Our faces were less then an inch apart. His mouth met mine then and I knew it was wrong but I needed him, needed him like air. Dimitri's need for me seemed just as strong. He held me like he was holding on to life. If this was the only way to save him then so be it. I would do anything for this man.

Our kissing became deeper, deeper then ever before. Dimitri removed the binder from my hair and let my hair fall down the sides of my face. He pulled back to smile at me and with incredible speed he picked me up, carried me over on to the make-shift bed, still kissing me.

Dimitri pulled back once more but his lips still brushed against mine as he spoke "Are you sure?" he asked, voice low and full of desire. I pulled him to me then, tangling my fingers in his hair and crushing my lips to his as an answer to his question while trying hard not to think about what I was about to do. I was about to surrender myself to a strigoi and turn my back on everything I ever stood for.

Dimitri started to undress me, pulling my sweater over my head. once it was off he began a trail of kisses down my neck and across my stomach. I moaned in pleasure and oh did Dimitri like that! He began to fumble playfully with the button on my jeans and before I knew it he had them off.

I decided It was Dimitri's turn. I pulled him towards me, and began hastily stripping him of his clothes. Soon we both were bare,

"Roza I love you." Dimitri whispered, his lips brushed against my bare skin. Dimitri's Breath was warm on my skin, a startling contrast to his hands that now traced down my sides. " I love you too." I told him, my voice was filled with love and truth.

Whith that, Dimitri thrusted into me, our movements were perfectly in sync. Still, despite the relief and bliss that consumed my body I couldn't help but hear the nagging thought in the vary back of my mind; what would the consequences of my actions be if someone were to find out? I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head. Nothing would distract me now. It was just me and Dimitri, and this was my last chance to save him


	3. Chapter 3

** Hi everyone, here it is... my third chapter! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. The next chapter will take place in Dimitri's point of view. (No it is not this same chapter from his perspective) Just so you know. :) Please read and review.**

**-Jess**

Chapter 3: The Things We Do In The Name Of Love

Roses point of view

I was not sure what time it was when I woke, I was too aware of Dimitri playing with my hair. My head rested on his chest and I could here the unnatural beating of his heart and my heart ached in response. I could feel the pain trying to resurface but I was grateful to hear that sound, unnatural or not his heart was still beating. I hugged him closer to me.

"Roza? Are you awake?" Dimitri asked.

"ummmm." I sighed.

"Rose you should go, it's not safe here at night. You and I have made a lot of enemies among the strigoi if they find you ..." He didn't finish.

"If they find us I will make sure they regret it." I said, voice like ice. Shock crossed Dimitri's face when he realized what I just said.

"Rose have you learned nothing in the time that I had to train you? Sometimes you _RUN!_" He said almost shouting. He was more frustrated then he was angry but I also detected some desperation in his words, Dimitri was pleading with me.

"I know what I'm doing" I said with confidence. My words were meant to reassure him but they seemed to make him worry more. "Dimitri." I said in a whisper, trying to calm him. Suddenly he shifted under me so that he was now on top of me. Dimitri stared into my eyes and I stared back. His red-rimmed eyes became soft and warm. "Roza;" he began "you are all I have left in this world. I need you safe and...right now you are scaring me." Dimitri eyed my wrists and he took hold of my right arm and held it up so I could see, at first his grip was gentile but it abruptly tightened. "And if anything like this ever happens again you leave me no choice. I will awaken you!" He released my arm.

"You still don't get it do you?" I asked softly. "If the bond is broken...If you turn me It would only get worse, If I am disconnected from the bond it would destroy me, and Lissa. I wouldn't be me anymore. I would be lost in the emptiness of my mind as would she."

"But..." he began voice just a whisper. I shook my head slowly. Dimitri didn't say anything more and when I couldn't take it anymore I sat up and brought my face closer to his Our lips met and my tongue pressed against his lower lip. "Roza." moaned Dimitri. We fell back down on the bed and continued our kissing, but just then my phone rang.

" Damn it." I grumbled. A smerk played across Dimitri's face and then he reached over the bedside to retrieve my phone from my coat's pocket. Dimitri handed me the phone.

"Hello." I answered harshly, ticked off. The voice that replied back sounded even more ticked then I.

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" It was my father, Abe Mazar. "Where the hell are you?"

"I'm in the caves just outside the school's wards. Get Lissa and Christian and meet me in Missoula. I know I told mom I wouldn't leave but we have too go. I don't care what you have to do to get them out. Just do it and I'll see you soon."

"Got it." Abe's voice was full of determination.

"And just so you know I 'm not coming alone." I knew he would understand what I meant by that. With out another word I hung up, knowing I could count on him.

"Who was that?" Dimitri asked.

I got out of the bed and started to get dressed "Abe Mazar." I replied flatly.

"I thought I told you to stay away from him!" Dimitri shouted.

"I can't do that Dimitri."

"Why?" he asked harshly.

"Because Abe Mazar is my father."

"Wh-what." Dimitri was overcome by shock but I could see when he looked at me again he knew I was right.

"He's my father and he's helping u-me."

"With what?" he asked.

"Are you coming or not?" I asked, avoiding his question.

"Of coarse I'm coming." Dimitri replied .

"Then hurry up we leave at sundown, we have five minuets." I said. He nodded.

I went outside to retrieve my weapons, I really shouldn't have left them out in the open like that. Suddenly strigoi nausea overwhelmed me. I shoved the last of my weapons into one of my inside coat pockets only to Draw one of my guns. I pointed my gun in the direction I felt the nausea come from. Five strigoi lurked in the shadows, I watched as the last strip of sunlight that separated us faded in to the night.

"That's her,the Hathaway girl." A female strigoi said. One of the male strigoi, the leader I presumed stepped foreword.

"You're Belikov's pet," He laughed coldly. "well then he must not be far. We will make sure he watches well we kill you. Slowly. You both have to pay the price for killing Galina."

"Go to hell." I spat through my teeth. Five shots rang through the air, but only four of the strigoi were down. Dimitri came running out, ready to help but I didn't need it a sixth shot rang through the air and the last strigoi went down. Blood was everywhere. Dimitri climbed on top of one of the strigoi and to my surprise he literally ripped it's head clean off.

"Dimitri!" I shouted "Dimitri they're dead already!" Dimitri stopped. He looked at me, puzzled and then looked around at all the dead bodies.

"How..." his voice trailed off as he looked into my eyes. To my utter shock Dimitri looked scared...scared of...me. Among the fear I could see other emotions cross his face. He was worried, not for himself but for me.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! The Alchemists are going to have a fit if I just leave things like this." I muttered to myself. I started to drag the bodies into a pile when I finished Dimitri finely came out of his revery. "Rose." was all he said. His voice was full of pane and sadness. "What has become of my Roza?" he whispered to himself.

I slowly went over to Dimitri's side and knelt down so that I could see his face better.

"I'm right here Dimitri, I'm not going to hurt you." I said softly, tipping his face up with my pointer finger and pressing my lips softly to his. He kissed me back. "We should go. Do you have a car?" I asked.

"This way." Dimitri said. I fallowed him into an other cave where a black sports car was parked, Dimitri must have dipped into Galina's funds. I looked around the cave until I found what I was looking for. With out hesitating I grabbed the large red gas can and ran out of the caves and back to the pile of dead strigoi . I pored the gas over the piled bodies, trying not to look at them. I searched through my jacket until I came across my box of matches, I lit one and threw it on the pile, it lit up so fast that I barely had time to step back.

"Ro-" I heard Dimitri call after me, but his words were cut off as he took in his surroundings. Dimitri stared wide-eyed at the tall flames. I cleared my throat. "We should go." I said in a soft whisper. I started to make my way back to the car at a quickened pace.

"Waite;" Dimitri called after me. "Rose what...what the hell, you... I mean... I've never seen you like this." He griped my arm firmly and forced me to come to a standstill. "Rose!" he shouted, turning me to face him. He griped my shoulders now, shaking me violently. "Talk! Whats going on, are you alright? Whats wrong, this isn't like you. You aren't this destructive... unless-"

I cut him off abruptly. "Why the hell would you even ask that question?" I shouted, holding up my bandaged arms. " Do I look alright to you?" Suddenly, without any time for me to react the pressure in my head became unbearable.

"Ahhhh!" I screamed as I fell to the ground, trying to hold my self together. No! No! No! No! I could feel the shadow kissed effects coming on, could feel the presents of the dead nearing as they tried to pass through me. I wasn't even in danger this time I was just that much out of control.

Dimitri Knelt down on the ground next to me, trying to calm me down. " Rose focus! Your strong! Fight it!" he had to shout his words to be heard over my cry's of pain. "Run Dimitri, Run!Get away from me!" I Screamed. "I can't fight it! Go!" Dimitri got up on his feet and for once I thought he had listened to me. I was so wrong. He walked over to my other side and knelt back down beside me. Before I had time to react he swept my hair back exposing my neck. Dimitri's fangs bit in to me, hard!

At first I screamed in more pain, but soon the endorphins kicked in. They took my body over. I became dazed, spacey my body flooded with happiness and pleasure and the darkness faded in to background noise. Dimitri pulled away, all to soon. I found myself wanting more. I was sill hopelessly addicted.

Dimitri helped me up off the ground, but I immediately collapsed into his arms, to lost in the high of the bite and to week from losing more blood. Dimitri helped me to the car and into the passenger's seat. "Oh Roza." he sighed. I look away from him, hurt. How dare he,how dare he bite me. I thought he understood that awakening me wouldn't save me, It would only destroy my mental health beyond repair.

"Don't ever do that again." I meant to sound fierce but it sounded more like I was pleading with him.

Dimitri laughed coldly. "You know you don't mean that, you know you like it when I bite you." I glared at him, forcing as much anger in to it as possible but it was week. "Rose what am I suppose to do? How else was I going to calm you down?" he asked softly.

I didn't answer him, instead I look out my window. I could barley see the shadows the of trees that lined the sides of the road, the windows were so darkly tinted. When it was clear to Dimitri that I wasn't going to answer his question he moved on.

"How did you kill them? The bullets would only hurt them."

I kept looking out the window as I spoke. My voice was lifeless when I answered him "The bullets were made the same as a stake and will only kill if shot through the heart or in the head. It's designed for a faster kill...that is if your a good shot" .

"Who's idea was that? We never had anything as advanced while I was a guardian."

" It was my idea." I replied, this time I turned to face him.

` Dimitri stared at me for a long time before he spoke again. "Your up to something." he accused "I can see it in your face. Rose what is it!" I didn't want to tell Dimitri that we were on are way to begin a search for Robert Doru. A man who _may_ be able to restore him back to his old self but is also unfortunately Victor's half brother. Nor did I want to tell him that Victor was the only one who knows were Robert is, therefor forcing me to break him out of prison in order for me to ever find his brother. So I gave Dimitri a vague, but true answer.

"I'm looking for someone." I told him.

"Someone who..." he Prompted.

"Someone who has information I need." I said, my temper was rising again and Dimitri noticed it too.

Dimitri opened his mouth to say something when I slipped the silver ring on that Mark had given to me when I was in Russia, Lissa had re-infused it with spirit for me. I felt the calm wash over me after a bit.

"What's that?" Dimitri asked, catching my hand in his and examining the ring. "You Had it in Russia."

"It's a ring infused with spirit. It's a healing charm, it keeps me calm... but it has it's limits."

"If it's magic how am I able to touch it?" he asked, curious.

"I don't know." I answered softly. But I am going to find out. I thought to myself. We continued down the road and it started to rain. My phone began to ring again this time it was Christian.

"Hello." I answered.

"Listen here Hathaway," Christian began, in a sarcastic tone. I could tell he was messing with me. "I'm not moving my ass until I know what you've done with my motorcycle."

"Oh yah, I left it by the caves outside the wards. You will have to go get it, sorry I kinda left a mess back there. Don't worry your bike's fine. Just hurry up and meet us at the Missoula gas station."

"Ok. Oh boy I can't wait to see what you've done now, Abe's not going to be happy"

"Yah yah whatever." and with that I hung up the phone.

Dimitri turned the radio on to his favorite station and I found myself fighting back tears. I hadn't expected him to do that. It took me off guard. Dimitri looked at me and then move his hand back to the dial to change it. "No don't, it's nice to know some things don't have to change." I told him. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, then said something in Russian that I couldn't hear. It sounded soothing.

The rain began to poor as we made our way to Missoula. I hadn't known I had fallen asleep, but the next thing I knew I felt Dimitri's fingers trace up and down my cheek. "Rose, it's time to wake up." he whispered in the hallow of my ear. I opened my eyes to find he was less then an inch away from me.

"Hey-" Dimitri crushed his mouth on mine, cutting me off. I wound my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. He cupped both sides of my face. The kiss was deep and full of passion, we broke apart only when we could no longer go without air.

"What was that for?" I asked playfully.

"You fell asleep. You let your guard down, willingly! You finely trust that I won't hurt you." he declared, triumphant I smiled at him and silence fell between us for a long moment before I broke it.

"Dimitri;" I whispered. "I'm sorry for..everything...on the bridge... I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry. Can you... can you ever forgive me?

"Yes Rose, I already have." he told me. "I know It must be hard for you."

I only nodded slightly as response. " Do you ever miss it, being a Dhampire?" I asked quietly.

"Yes...and no. Despite what you may think Rose I am sill the same, just stronger and unlike you I'm free. There are sometimes when I feel out of control, like when you were at Galina's and I was trying to keep everyone from killing you." Dimitri's expression grew dark. "Or when Nathan wanted me to share you!" his voice raised to a shout.

The feeling of sadness shook my core then, he was wrong so so so wrong. He is not the same as he once was, he was angry and out of control. This isn't Dimitri. He continued to shout, this time his anger was directed at me. "Do you have any idea what I had to go through?" he asked coldly. "It's all your fault!"he snapped. "If you had just let me awaken you in the first place none of this would've happened!"

"Stop!" I shouted back at him. "It is my fault that I couldn't save you in the caves when you were attacked and it was my fault that I failed to keep my promises to kill you. But you will NOT blame me for not wanting to become a strigoi!"

"Rose-" Dimitri screamed at me.

"Stop it Dimitri! Just STOP it! This isn't you!" my screaming turned in to a cry of panic. I was immediately reminded of the time in the cabin, I was out of control and I wanted to kill Jesse for hurting Lissa. Dimitri had to pin me down until I regained my control. I remembered his face, how much fear, love and panic was written on his face. He had been so scared to lose me but now that the roles were switched I finely realized how scared he must have been.

"We're the same." I whispered, barley breathing. It all made since now. How could I have not seen this before? The same darkness that threatened to consume me was consuming him. It was the darkness you had to deal with if you walked the fine line between life and death. We both walked that line, but Dimitri was in far more danger of losing himself then I. I have to save him before he's lost to me...forever.

"No. No. No. Not you! I can't let it hurt you too!" I cried out frantically. I couldn't imagine Dimitri having to fight the darkness, having to suffer what I have suffered but at a much higher level and worst of all he was alone up until now, he probably still felt alone despite my being here. The thought of that made the tears I'd been holding back run down my cheeks.

I felt Dimitri start to wipe my tears away with his finger. "Rose none of what happened is your fault. I'm sorry for snapping at you, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." He said in a pleading voice.

I turned to face him "Shh, Dimitri it's okay-" Dimitri cut me off.

"No Rose, it's not okay;" he said sternly. Then his voice became softer,full of sadness. " Rose I don't want to hurt you. I love you."

"Shh Dimitri, shh I know. I know it's hard." I said softy trying to calm him. "Every thing is going to be okay." I told him.

He shook his head. " You and I both know it doesn't always work out like that." He said, voice back to normal, but I could see how much the reality of that fact hurt him, it hurt me too.

Silence fell between us for a long time before I spoke again. "I think I understand now." I told him " It all fits."

"Rose, what are you talking about?" Dimitri asked.

" I'm talking about what it's like to be close to death. Dimitri don't you see, that's why you get upset. It's why you can touch my ring, because spirit heals the darkness. That's why ghosts don't like Strigoi or me for that matter, we both defy death. I was brought back to life and you linger in between life and death." When I finished speaking I knew he new I was right.

"What does that mean then?" he asked.

"It will work. It has to work." I whispered to my self, he heard me.

"what will work?" Dimitri asked, confused. I could see he was a little irritated with me.

With a reluctant sigh I told him about my plan to restore him to a Dhampire. I told him about Robert Doru and Victor. "It's our only chance." I exclaimed.

"Rose, it's a suicide mission." he said through clenched teeth.

"No it isn't! And even if it is I DON'T CARE!" I shouted, I was on the verge of tears again. "I need you Dimitri." My voice was now only a whisper.

"Rose if you brake into the Moroi prison the guards won't ask questions, they'll just kill you on the spot. I can not let that happen" his voice rang with determination.

The car came to a stop and for a moment I thought that Dimitri was going to turn around and force me to go back to the academy, but then I saw the neon lighting that came from the Missoula gas station sign. The light only created a faint luminescent shadow against the darkly tinted windows that was nearly impossible for me to see through.

Dimitri cut the engine and put the car in park. Immediately his hands returned to the steering wheal. He griped it tightly as he stared foreword into the blackness of night before letting out a heavy sigh.

"I will come with you Rose, but you must understand that I will keep you alive at any cost, no matter what it maybe."

"I understand." I told him.

Dimitri took my hand in his and kissed it. "Shall we get you something to eat?" he asked. His lips now brushed against the bandages on my wrists.

I nodded and we both stepped out of the car.

As we walked up to the store's entrance Dimitri put his arm around my waist, pulling me to his side. I rapped my arm around him then and he looked down at me and smiled. When we walked through the automatic doors there was a blast of warm air. It felt good as it blew across my face.

At the front of the store there was a row of carts. Dimitri grabbed one and we began making our way down the isles . I got a bottle of coke and a sub sandwich. As we made our way to the back of the store Dimitri stopped to get more medical supplies. To my utter astonishment he grabbed three first-ade kits. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"What?"

" Don't you feel that you might be going a bit overboard comrade?" I asked.

Dimitri looked at me, shocked. It took me awhile to realize that it was in reaction to my use of his old nickname. I hadn't called him by that name since he was a Dhampire. The word comrade implied some sort of trust. I vaguely remembered that when I was in Russia I'd decided that it no longer fit him. Looking at him now, I knew that I could trust him. He sill was my Dimitri, my comrade.

Dimitri's shock transformed into huge smile which fully exposed his fangs. He looked dangerous, frighting even but I could see the joy in him and it made me smile too.

"No Roza, I don't believe I'm going overboard." he told me,answering my question.

I walked over to Dimitri's side, he was deciding between two different antibacterial ointments. I took one from his hand and put it in the cart. He turned to face me and when he did I moved closer to him.

I gripped the collar of his duster to pull myself up so my face was closer to his. Dimitri rested his hand on the small of my back and pulled me to him so my body was pressed against his. Our lips met, the kiss was sweet and full of love and trust. I could have stayed like that forever but eventually we had to brake the kiss.

We slowly made our way to the cashier counter in the front of the store. There was a woman with long dishwater blonde hair in front of us. She was paying for gas when she heard our approach she glanced in our direction, taking in the way Dimitri's arm was around my waist and how my head rested on his shoulder. She smiled at us in a friendly and approving manner. I smiled back at her as a response and then she left to go back to her car.

It was strange how normal things seemed right now. It was perhaps the most normal thing Dimitri and I had ever done together- him having his arm around me as we stood in a checkout line. A human may think something like this to be routine. That was never the case with Dimitri and I. When he was a Dhampir we could never show any affection for one an other publicly, we always had to hide the way we felt because it was forbidden for us to love each other. That's why doing something like this with him as a strigoi was so strange. We were suppose to be enemies now not lovers.

I pull out my wallet to pay for my food, Dimitri payed for the rest and we went back to the car. I sat back in my seat and Dimitri turned on the heater. We sat in silence for a wile, I ate my sandwich and Dimitri was looking through the first-aid supplies.

"What are you doing Dimitri?" I asked once I had finished eating He look at me with sympathy in his eyes.

"Do you feel any better?" he asked.

"I feel fine Dimitri. Why?"

"let me see your arms." he reached over and gently pulled my arms from my lap.

Dimitri pulled my sleeves up and when I looked down I saw that blood was soaking through my bandages again. "Shit. When will my arms stop bleeding?" Dimitri didn't respond. He pulled my sleeves up as far as he could and then grabbed a small pair of mettle scissors. Dimitri began to cut through the gauze, cotton and medical tape that was rapped around my arms. The cold feeling of metal across my skin brought back the memories of what I had done to myself.

****Flashback****

I looked in my bathroom mirror at my tear-stained face. I knew I wasn't my self but that didn't matter without.. him I had no desire to fight the darkness. I wanted to not have to feel the pain of loss. I wanted to stop putting those I love in danger, all for a chance at a unlikely happy ending. I pressed the knife into the flesh of my wrists, wincing slightly. I dragged the knife across my wrist six times before doing the same thing to the other. Drops of blood ran in streams down the sink and my tears fallowed.

I had failed. I had failed to keep my promise to Dimitri, to Adrian and to Lissa. Fuck! I was supposed to be Lissa's guardian. My job was to keep her out of danger, not lead her to it! I was teaching her to fight but it would take a lot more then that if she was going to stand a chance against Dimitri. Her best defense was her magic. She could compel just about anyone, bend her opponent to her will. She could make them believe they are in the worst pain of their life or make them face their worst fears. The problem with using her magic was that it took everything I had to keep focused and not get sucked in to her head when she was feeling all the rage, adrenaline and fear that came from fighting. I knew that Dimitri would come for me soon. I didn't know if I really could save him but I knew that if I couldn't he would still come after me, he wouldn't stop until I was dead or worse.

If I was gone Dimitri wouldn't have to continue his hunt for me, Lissa would be safe. I could still protect her... one last time. I dragged the knife from the inside of my wrist up to the crease of my elbow. I let out a small cry of pain and sadness as I repeated the action, cutting into my other arm. Somewhere deep inside a part me still had the will to live. It was to late. I could feel the numbness coming on, I welcomed it. I sunk down onto the floor, soon it would be over and my broken heart wouldn't hurt anymore. Soon I would feel nothing. My friends would be safe once more.

I don't know how long I sat there bleeding before I heard someones frantic voice calling my name. "Rose? Rose! Oh my God, Rose!" the voice came closer. "Rose can you hear me, open your eyes!" I did as the voice commanded.

My eyelids were heavy and my vision was blurry. I struggled to focus in on my surroundings. From what I was able to see there was blood all over my clothes, the sink as well as the floor. I took all my energy to meet the gaze of the person who was now at my side.

"Eddie?" I asked as are eyes finely met. His eyes were filled with tears. I was like a sister to him, I hated that he was the one to have to see me like this.

"Why Rose?" he asked as he started to pick me up.

"No." I grumbled as I tried, and failed to push him away.

Once I was in Eddie's arm he began to run in the direction of the clinic. Eddie's breathing was uneven as his ran. I couldn't tell whether or not it was because of carrying me, or if he was trying to keep himself together. I was beginning to see black spots, but before the blackness could consume me we reached the clinic.

Once inside a group of staff surrounded us all speaking at once. They took me from Eddie and placed me on a bed, wheeling me down the hall to the E. R. The nurses began hooking me up to monitors and various tubes. _No!_ I could not let them save me, so long as I lived everyone I knew and loved would be in danger. As for me, I have already suffered so much pain, loss and guilt. Why must I suffer more?

I began to resist and retaliate, pulling off any wires, bandage's or tubes I could get my hands on. Some of the nurses tried stop me. Surprisingly, I was somehow able to push them away but not for long, they quickly pinned me down again.

"Stop!" I screamed. "Stop it! This is the only way, I don't want your help! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Please!" I cried.

"Sedate her!" an elderly nurse ordered. At the same time a male nurse put a oxygen mask over my mouth and nose slowly I relaxed. My mouth became dry and my lips numb as I was forced into unconsciousness.

****End of flashback****

"Rose? Rose?" Dimitri's voice pulled me out of my dark memories

I shook my my head, as if I could make the bloody images in my my mind go away. " Oh...um, what?"

" Did I hurt you?"

"No, Why?" Dimitri didn't say any thing. I looked down at my arms then to see that Dmitri had stitch me up, he was now covering the stitches with antibacterial ointment, it stung a little whenever it got under the skin but it was nothing. _Hell, _I'm Rose Hathaway! I thought to myself.

"If I didn't hurt you then why are you crying?" he asked.

"I'm not crying." I told him, and it was true. I wasn't crying. Dimitri leaned over with a confused expression and brushed my cheek with his cool thumb, catching one lone, silent tear and wiping it away.

"Rose! For God's sake _talk_." Dimitri unstable temper was getting to him now I could hear it in his tone of voice. It was almost hostile...

Just as I was about to speak I heard the sound of tires against gravel. Through the bond I could feel that it was Lissa, Abe and Christian who were pulling in to the parking lot. I could feel that Lissa was worried about me, worried that Dimitri might have hurt me and also because she knew he was going with us on are travels. She had never really seen a strigoi before and Dimitri had once been her guardian... her friend. She was scared to see him now, she didn't want to see him as something evil when he was once so kind. I knew exactly how she was feeling.

I pulled myself out of Lissa's head and looked at Dimitri "That's them" I told him. "Lets go." I got out of the car and walk to the driver's side, Dimitri got out of the car, immediately the atmosphere changed into one of tension. Dimitri immediately pulled me behind him protectively.

Abe and Lissa along with Abe's haired guardians were the first to step out of the car, fallowed by a wary, yet protective Christian whom swiftly pulled Lissa behind him, mirroring Dimitri's stance. Flames came from his fingertips as his teeth clenched.

Abe held up his hand and shook his head in disapproval at Christian's actions. Christian nodded and stopped the flames coming from his fingers, slowly letting them die out. Dimitri took the opportunity to seek then, his voice was both hard and cold

"If your going to turn on me I will fight back. I won't hesitate, you'll be sorry in the end."

"Dimitri I whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder to calm him but my effort was of no use.

"I see no need for confrontation, so long as everyone goes unharmed." Abe replied sternly

"I agree." Dimitri stated bluntly.

" I trust that Rose has filled you in on the details of our mission, has she not?" Abe asked

Dimitri nodded in response.

"Alright then, Rosemarie stay with Dimitri." my father ordered turning to me. "Vasilisa will be safe with us." he continued motioning his head towards Lissa.

Lissa was peering over Christian's right shoulder, smiling. She was sill wary I could feel it, but she was happy to see that I was safe and she was even glad to see Dimitri. Lissa hoped,as did I that we could heal him soon so we could all go back to being one big, happy family as she put it.

Abe turned his attention towards Dimitri once more. "Fallow us. We are going to a safe house near the states border, we can stay there as long as we need to and go unnoticed."

Dimitri nodded once more in understanding.

Without an other word Abe turned back towards his car and his guardians fallowed.

Christian pushed Lissa back gently and helped her into the back seat, sliding in after her. Before shutting the car door Christian looked in the direction Dimitri and I were standing. He looked at me with worry in his eyes before shooting daggers at Dimitri. Dimitri gave Christian a hard look in return and then, we too got in to our car and began to fallow them to the location of the safe house.

This should be an_ interesting _couple of weeks...or_ months ._ I thought to myself as we began speeding our way down the road to our next location. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sooooo Sorry for not updating sooner! I hope you all can forgive me. Thanks to all the people that have reviewed! I LOVE the feedback! I hope you enjoy this next chapter

- Jess 3

Chapter 3: Two Sides To A Corrupted Sole

Dimitri's Point Of View

When I told Rose that I wanted to come with her on her journey I'd meant it, but that was before I was being put through hell! Who dose _Mazar_ think he is anyway? He is powerful, yes, and he may also be the only Moroi I, as a Strigoi would ever have reason to fear and that has nothing to do with the fact that he is Rose's father. I sill can't believe it! Out of all the Moroi men in the world, Abe... _Abe Mazar _was her father!

He didn't scare me, not in the slightest but he sure knew how to piss me off. We have been staying at the vacant safe house for about three weeks now; all time was spent going over plans for the brake in at the Moroi prison. Abe wouldn't let me near Rose, we have barely spoken a word to each other since we got here and it was killing me. Why should he have the right to keep Roza from me? He barely knew her and yet_ now_ after eighteen long years he decides he wants to be a part of her life! The odd thing about it was that Rose seemed to like him. She did not seem to have the same resentment for her father as she has had for her mother. I just couldn't understand it! I began to quicken my pace as I walked down an ally, a response to the frustration boiling inside me.

I knew it was wrong, but I didn't care. I needed to hunt. The sun had just set about twenty minutes ago and I snuck out with no one the wiser into the nearest city. In addition to keeping _my_ Roza from me as much as possible, Mazar also prohibited "feeding" in order to remain inconspicuous. He had however gotten a supply of blood, kept refrigerated with in the safe house kitchen. It was meant to meet the needs of the Moroi as well as myself. Drinking old re-heated blood was not appealing by any masher. The only reason I managed to keep it up this long was because of Rose. Ever since she came to Russia and expressed her disgust for my... diet I have discovered this voice inside my head that came from somewhere deep within me. That voice often told me things I would rather not hear. There was a battle going on inside me, between what I wanted ad what was right; sometimes I'd slip, like right now.

As I fallowed my pray- a young, human women in what looked to be her mid twenty's, I thought about Rose. She had said that the same darkness that consumed her was the same darkness that made me the way I am now. Being Strigoi was great, I had so much power and I could finely put _my needs_ and _my wants_ first. What I wanted and needed was my Roza, and I wanted her _forever_. I never thought it would be possible, but she made me feel even better, calmer? When I was with her. I was so hared, to not have rose in my arms for so long. It made me... angry.

Just as I turned my attention back to the women that was my pray she tripped, drunkenly and fell to the ground. I decided to take the opportunity to make my Presents known to her and then go in for the kill.

Abruptly my mind was screaming at me _"You don't want to do this, you don't want to kill. She wouldn't want you to." _Goddamn! Why, _why _did this always happen? I pushed the nagging voice in my head aside.

"Excuse me Ms, may I help you?" I asked in my most persuasive voice as I came up from behind the woman, pulling her up off the groaned and lifting her from underneath her arms._ "You don't want to do this. Walk away now, before it's too late."_ the voice broke through my mental wall, but I refused to listen to it. I needed blood, _NOW!_

" Thank you." said the woman, her words were slurred.

She turned her head, trying to get a better look at me. The action exposed the skin of her neck and the pulsing artery underneath it...it looked so...good. Suddenly I noticed the young woman's body stiffen under my grip and I knew she knew I had no intention of letting her go. I had to act quickly before she started screaming.

"Let me go-oh" her last word transformed into a moan as I sunk my teeth into her neck. It was like cutting through butter.

_ "Roza will never forgive you if you kill this woman, you know you'll tell her if you do. She'll never look at you the same way again. You don't really want to kill an insentient person. STOP before it's to late_!" The voice again broke through to me, making the once sweet taste of my prays blood turn bitter as my self-disgust grew and...I stopped.

I left the unconscious woman behind a dumpster near the back door of a bar where she could be found and walked out of the ally, onto the main sidewalk that lined the street.

The walkway was lined with street lamps, the lights were so bright to my eyes that they almost blinded me. I had to rely on my keen sense of hearing to guide me down the sidewalk. As I walked, I listened to the sound of passing cars to my left, seeing their silhouettes flash in my line of sight now and again despite the overwhelming brightness.

I kept walking until the light dimmed and I passed most of the streetlamps. When my eyes re-adjusted I found myself on a small and narrow road about three miles away from the safe house. I kept waking, but slowed my pace. I did not particularly look foreword to going back, no doubt I'd be questioned for leaving but I didn't care, I would be coming back for_ her_ not_ them_. I was doing this for Rose.

In all fairness it was only Abe, his guards and Christian that have been treating me with disrespect.. Surprisingly, Vasilisa didn't seem to have the same feeling of hatred towards me as the others. I supposed it was just not in her nature to hate. However, like everyone else she kept her distance, she barely spoke to me at all and when she did I could hear fear in her voice, mixed with kindness

I wish the others would talk to me. I needed to know more about what happened after Rose came back from Russia, she had changed so much, always angry or depressed, though she hid it well I knew something was wrong. Rose spent most of her time in her room alone or going over the brake in plans. Whenever we were together, which was rare she didn't say much. Silence use to be comfortable for us but not lately and I was worried about her mental health. If...If she tried to kill herself again I knew exactly what I'd do. She would hate me for it and I knew It, but I also knew that I couldn't live an eternity with out her. One of us had to change.

It started to rain as I rounded the corner into an other ally. It didn't take long for the rain to start poring and I became instantly drenched, I was grateful for the narrow brick walls of ally that blocked the harsh winds.

As I walked deeper down the ally my ears picked up the muffled sounds of scuffling and harsh whispers. I moved foreword, picking up my pace. When the sounds grew louder I realized that whoever was talking was speaking in Russian. From what I could hear it was a man and a woman, their conversation was far from friendly

For some reason the female voice sounded familiar, though I was sure I never heard it before. I was now close enough to see them, but they didn't have a hope of seeing me, that is unless they were strigoi. I could see now, from the glowing red-rimed eyes that one of them, the man, was. I could not however see if the woman was as well. Nether of them had noticed me and I wanted to keep it that way. I had no idea if the woman was a guardian or Strigoi. And even if she was Strigoi there was a strong chance she would sill want to kill me so I quickly crouched behind a dumpster, still watching them as I began to listen to their exchange. It was the woman who spoke first.

"Who are you, why were you fallowing me?" the woman asked.

There was venom in every word she spoke. Although she spoke Russian, it was clear to me that she did not come from there, her pronunciation was slightly off.

" I was sent to kill you and that trader you were flowing." the Strigoi man replied bitterly. His Russian was not flawed at all

"Why? Who sent you?" she asked harshly, her words were clearer then before.

When he didn't immediately respond the woman pressed the male Strigoi harder against the brick wall, holding him by the throat.

"You don't scare me bloodwhore!" he choked out.

I saw the young woman tense in response to his words before kneeing him in the groin. The strigoi crouched over in pain, groaning. He would have fallen to the ground if it were not for the woman's hold on him.

"Do what you want with me but more are coming, we won't rest until Belikov is dea-" The man's words were cut off with a swift motion of the woman's hand.

At first I thought she had only slapped him that was before I saw the bright gleam of a silver stake and the deep bloody gash across his face.

I knew all to well why the strigoi man desired my death. He, like many others must have served Galina. He must have heard about what Rose and I had done back in Russia and now held me responsible for her death, therefore wanting revenge.

When I pulled myself from my thoughts I noticed that I had missed part of their conversation, I quickly turned my attention back to the Strigoi and unidentified woman.

"...Why do you insist on pissing me off?" the woman asked. Her voice was still deadly even when spoken in her slightly flawed Russian. What the man said next was took me by surprise.

"Mark my words, the others will find you. They will kill Belikov! And you, you will be awakened and forced to spend an eternity in darkness and in pain, they will torture you beg for death! Your reign of terror ends with me Rosemarie Hathaway!"


	5. Chapter 5

**I am so sorry I haven't updated lately I had some computer problems and a LOT of homework! I promis to try to update as often as possible so you don't have to suffer. **

** Please give me your feedback, read and review! I love hearing what you all have to stay, it's what keeps me motivated. I hope you enjoy :) **

** -Jess**

Chapter 5: Lovesick And Broken

Dimitri's point of view

Rose? It felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I also began to see red, If anyone tries to hurt her I WILL rip their throat out! Suddenly, I heard a snapping sound and then I saw Rose stake the male Strigoi, before I could make myself move she ran the opposite direction out of the alley

I slowly got up, still shocked and went over to the body of the male strigoi. I looked down at him, blood was beginning to pool around his body at a rapid pace his face was covered in blood as well and his head was turned in an unnatural way. That explained the snapping sound, Rose had snapped his neck before staking him. Rose... I had to find her!

I ran out of the alley as fast as possible to catch up to Rose. When I was out of the alley I looked around, the road was quiet, The only light came from the various neon signs of all the different shops that lined the streets. I scanned my surroundings, there was no sign of Roza anywhere. I ran down the sidewalk, rounding the street corner in seconds.

The rain had picked up, making the sidewalk slick. As I crossed the street a car nearly ran me over, but I didn't care seeing as I could just get up walk away if it had hit me. I peeked in the windows of every bar and shop I passed. Rose was nowhere to be found. Where could she be? I kept running down the street until I reached the parking lot of a hotel just two blocks away from the location of the safe house. From a distance I could see a female figure near a dumpster at the side of a building. It was Rose, I was so relieved to have finally caught up to her

I ran up to her, but before I could say anything Rose leaned over the dumpster and started vomiting, violently. I was at her side instantly, sweeping her wet hair back behind her shoulder and rubbing her back in a soothing gesture. Fear shook my core, maybe it wasn't Roza's mental health I needed to worry about, maybe it was her physical health I needed to be concerned about. Dhampirs don't get sick often, but when they do it's bad, really bad! I couldn't lose Rose not this way, not EVER!

_" Awaken her. Now, before it's too late!"_ that nagging voice inside my head demanded.

Oh how I wanted to give in to that voice. I wanted so badly to save here from all mortal dangers. I new I couldn't though, Rose didn't want or could not live this way for whatever reason, sill not quite clear to me.

"Oh Roza." I sighed sympathetically. I hated that she had to go through this, worst of all there was nothing I could do. Once Rose was done throwing up, she wiped her mouth with the slave of her jacket and then scraped it against the edge of the dumpster to clean it off.

"Roza are you okay?" I asked It was a stupid question, of coarse she wasn't. Rose turned to face me when I spoke.

"Dimitri; Thank god your okay!" she said with tears in her eyes.

Rose threw herself at me, rapping her arms around my waste and hugging me tightly. I stroked her wet hair, kissing the top of her head repeatedly. It felt so good to have her close to me. We've been forced to keep our distance for far too long.

"What are you doing out here Roza?" I asked her.

"I heard you sneak out, so... I fallowed you." she said simply.

"why?"

"I need to make sure you wouldn't do anything you'd regret later... I also needed to know if you were coming back. I know you don't like it here, but please stay. I need you." she whispered.

"Rose I could never leave you." I told her truthfully, it was the reason we were in this mess.

I had gone to Russia to get away from Rose. I had hoped she would move on and not come looking for me, but despite my hopes she had come for me and when she found me, I couldn't let her go, couldn't stand to see her walk out of my life. I never should have taken her to the estate. I should've been strong enough to say goodbye, but... I... wasn't and I hated that fact. If I wasn't so weak, Roza would be safe and I wouldn't have caused her so much pain. We would've never had to turn on each other the way we had. More importantly, neither of us would have thousands of Strigoi wanting us dead.

"Rose; I saw you in the alley." I told her. I felt her stiffen in my arms."Why do you insist on making every Strigoi you kill suffer first? They all used to be Human, Moroi or Dhampier like I was, you used to feel pity for what they had become." The strigoi don't want, nor do they \need any pity but, it was just so unlike Rose to kill them and feel.. nothing.

"None of them deserve pity from me and they sure as hell don't deserve my mercy." she said, her words were full of hatred.

I pulled back to looked at her, confused. This just wasn't like her. When Rose took in my expression she abruptly maneuvered out of my embrace and turned away from me. Thunder rumbled in the distance as she looked up into the sky.

"Roza?" I whispered.

"They took everything from me." she all but shouted, though there was more pain then anger in her voice now. "They ruined everything!" she screamed, falling to her knees. As soon as she hit the pavement I was at her side, hugging her to my chest and kissing the top of her head. I felt irritated, almost angry that this was all I could do to comfort her. To tell the truth, I wasn't even sure if she found my actions to be comforting,after all I am still Strigoi.

"I was suppose to be with you. I want to be with you, I need to be with you. We were suppose to be together." she murmured in broken sobs, pressing her face into my chest, near my shoulder so I wouldn't see her cry

"Shh... Roza, It's okay. Everything will be alright, you'll see." I told her.

Rose pulled back to look at me, there was a mixture of sadness, love and hope in her eyes. I reached out to cup her cheek but instantly moved my hand to her forehead, she felt hot to the touch. I began to panic, remembering that she had also just thrown up. Dhampirs don't get sick often but, when they do it's dangerous.

"Roza; Your burning up!" I told her, shocked. She didn't say anything, she just sat there taking in my reaction. "lets get back to the house." I muttered quickly, I was in a hurry to get her back and in bed. I needed her to get better.

We reached the safe house in a matter of minutes, but even that wasn't fast enough for my liking. As soon as we stepped in the doorway we were bombarded with questions.

"Rose, your back!" Vasilisa shouted, enveloping her in to a bone crushing hug.

"Hey Liss" Rose greeted her.

"Where in gods name did you guys run of to?" Abe roared.

" I left to go find Dimitri." Rose replied simply. In that instant all eyes were on me.

"What were you doing?" Abe asked me bluntly, yet his voice still held a casual tone. Before I could even speak Christian interrupted with one of his smart ass comments.

"I think we all know what he was doing, he was hunting." He said this as if he had already explained it a thousand times.

"Dimitri?" Rose asked, her eyes were filled with sadness.

" That enough Christian." Abe said harshly, sill looking at me for a response. I didn't look at him, I did not answerer to Abe, it was only Rose.

I tilted her chin up with my hand, forcing her to look at me. "I did not Kill anyone Roza" I told her. She nodded as a response, but didn't say anything. I let my hand drop from her face, and she turned back towards Vasilisa.

"Rose are you feeling okay, you don't look so good."

"Yah, Liss I'll be fine. I'm just going to get some sleep, Good night everyone!" And with that Rose left to go to her room. I was glad that no one objected to me fallowing after her.

When I reached her door I peeked in to her room. Rose was searching through her duffel bag, probably looking for her night shirt witch was on the floor near the closet. Silently, I moved into the room, shutting the door behind me. She didn't hear me come in. I watched as she gave up her search, frustrated and pulled her tee shirt over her head aggressively. She tossed it onto the floor with a heavy sigh, and stepped out of her jeans. I then decided to make my presents known.

"Looking for this?" I asked, holding up her night shirt.

Rose spun around to face me, a small smile playing on her lips. "Yes actually, I was."

Slowly I walked over to where she stood, she looked so beautiful. Rose held her arms up and I moved closer, slipping her night shirt over her head. I kissed her forehead gently. Rose did not embrace me the way I wish she would. It made me a bit angry. Why did she always push me away? Before I could say anything about it Rose grabbed my hand and led me to the bed. We both sat on the bed's edge, we didn't speak, but Rose didn't let go of my hand.

After awhile longer I broke the silence. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'll be okay." she told me.

I pressed the back of my hand to her forehead, her skin was sill so much hotter then normal. "We should take your temp." I said. I wasn't asking her permission. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the first-aid kit to retrieve the thermometer I handed it to Rose and she put it in her mouth.

It felt like hours before I heard the thermometer beep. I took the thermometer from Rose's mouth. I looked at it with shock, her temperature read 104.5 Degrees Fahrenheit!


	6. Chapter 6

**I Know I said this last time, but I am SOOOO SORRY for not updating! Anyway, I may do a double update tonight IF I can get 5 reviews by 9:00pmc tonight! Enjoy! :D **

**- Jess **

Chapter 6 Convicted and Conflicted

Dimitri's Point Of View

"Rose, stay here" I told her sternly. I knew she could hear the panic in my voice. I began to walk out of the room at my fast Strigoi pace. I tried hard never to move at this pace around Rose because I knew it bothered her, but I was in a hurry for Abe's help. As much as I hated that fact, I knew he was the only one who could do anything to help her get well.

I knew Roza would need medical attention, but we still needed to say under the radar. Abe would know how to do that.

"Abe!" I called out from the long, winding hallway.

"Yes, what is it Dimitri?" Abe's voice came from the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen to find all three Moroi drinking from blood bags, as Abe's guards sat playing cards the eyed me as I entered the room.

"Rose is sick." I announced sadly.

"Oh, and you just noticed this now?" Christian asked, not really looking for an answer. Vasilisa. Shot him daggers from across the table, witch he ignored. " I'm just saying, I mean we all know she hasn't been herself since she returned from Russia! The Rose Hathaway we knew is gone. What the fuck did you do to her anyway Belikov? He asked harshly, turning to glare at me. There was nothing but hatred in his words.

My temper was rising and all I wanted in this word at that moment was snap his little neck!

" I would strongly suggest that you stop running your mouth about things you know so little of" my words sounded more menacing then I could have imagined... Perfect. Still, with Christian being who he was he still had the guts to continue with his rant.

" I think I Know enough, I've certainly seen enough-" His shouting was cut off by Abe.

"Ozera calm your self!" And that was the end of that thank God. I don't know what would have happened if I killed him, and believe me it without a doubt would have come to that if not for Abe.

After the fight, Christian, Vasilisa and one of Abe's guards went up to the store to get Rose some medication. I was so worried for Rose. Abe took a look at her and made a call to one of his _"friends" _ in the medical field. After Abe described Rose's symptoms to the man (who apparently was a doctor ) he gave a confident diagnoses, Influenza. The man also told Abe that there was a high likelihood of her illness to evolve in to something far more threatening, bacterial pneumonia.

I will have to make damn sure she gets well... If not my decision is inevitable. So long as I live Rosemarie Hathaway's heart will continue to beat, no matter the cost.

This I swear!


	7. Chapter 7

** Hello everyone! I finally updated! :D lately I have been so busy with my midterms that I have hardly had time to just sit down. I have also had serious writers block ( not fun) anyway, I got through it. I hope you enjoy chapter 7, please read and review! if you don't I'll make Dimitri force you to read old Westerns! (LOL) JK. **

**- Jess**

chapter 7: Bittersweet Dreams And Everlasting Changes

Rose's Point Of View

Well this is just perfect, I was sick! No doubt that Dmitri was freaking out right about now. I could hear the hushed harsh voices coming from down the hall then abruptly I heard Christian shout at Dmitri.

"Oh and you just noticed this now?" He asked, angry. "I mean, I'm just saying we all move she hasn't been herself since she returned from Russia! The Rose Hathaway we know is gone!" Christian's words echoed in my ears, burning into my mind and cutting off any other words that may have transpired within the conversation. "_The Rose Hathaway we know is gone!" _Have I really lost myself so completely? Instantly I knew the answer was yes no matter how much I wanted to deny it.

I turned my attention back to what is happening down the hall, Christian and Lissa must be going up to town. Through my small bedroom window I could hear the rower of Christians motorcycle coming to life. Soon the sound of the engine faded as the distance between them and the safe house became greater.

Instantly, I felt angry. I knew it was irrational, Lissa had made great progress in learning how to use spirit, both offensively and defensively since she agreed to come with me on this journey. Still, Lissa Should not have gone without me. I was her guardian I was supposed to keep her safe. It was my job.

My anger soon passed as I slipped into Lissa's head and saw that one of Abe's guardians were following them they were headed to a local drugstore, not far from the safe house. She would be safe, but that still didn't stop me from feeling as if I failed her. Every moment that we stayed in this house, every moment that I allowed to accompany me on this journey I was putting her in danger. A true guardian would not be as selfish as I. Lissa deserved so much better.

I plopped down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Soon, I would have to pull myself together I thought to myself as I shut my eyes in an attempt to try and get some sleep. In all honesty, I really did feel like crap.

Soon, I drifted into a peaceful sleep. I dreamt I was at the beach, Dmitri was with me. His eyes were no longer rimmed with red. we held hands as he walked down the shore, water splashed against my bare feet. Oh how I wanted this to be real. I wanted it so badly, this was the way things should have been. Dmitri shouldn't have been turned! It wasn't fair, not to me, the to him. He didn't deserve that fate.

"I love you Roza." said the dream Dmitri. I looked up into his eyes, as I did my own filled with tears. How much more pain could my heart and mind cause me before it was too late?

As I searched for an answer to this question, the scene before my eyes changed. My dream version of Dmitri was nowhere to be found. As I took in my surroundings I realize that I was standing outside of the old spaghetti factory in Minneapolis Minnesota. I have never been to this place in person but, I had heard Tasha Mention it a few times during her last visit to St. Vladimir's Academy. Tasha lived in Minneapolis and she had invited Liss and I to come visit her after graduation, suggesting we all go out to eat here sometime.

"Little Dampier" Exclaimed a familiar voice. I turned to see Adrian standing before me.

I was so happy to see him, but that happiness was short-lived when I remembered the last few times I saw him. I had failed to keep my promise, to give him a fair chance. He was the only person that had ever come close to understanding the gravity of my situation and how much I truly was hurting. Yet still, I pushed them away.

Looking into Adrian's eyes now, I realized how much of a mistake that was. I have missed him so much, but I didn't know if he felt the same after all that has happened between us and how much things have changed in his life in such a short matter of time.

I thought back to the last two weeks I had seen Adrian. So much had changed for both of us and Tasha as well within that short amount of time.

****_Flashback_****

Lissa, Adrian and I were sitting in the gym. I had recently sprained my ankle during training with Alberta. Lissa had thought it would be good practice for Adrian to heal my ankle. He had become increasingly better at healing with all the extra practices we had been doing. Adrian healed my ankle very easily, for which I was immensely grateful.

Adrian was never one to participate in the combat practices between Lissa and me. However, he'd often stay to watch. While Lissa learned to use her powers both, offensively and defensively, I taught her how to physically defend herself. Although she was not anywhere near as strong, nor as fast as I, she surprisingly showed much potential. When we finished with our practice we left for the cafeteria. Lissa went ahead of Adrian and I to go seek out Christian.

Adrian and I continued down the hall in silence, slowly making our way to the cafeteria. When we were about halfway there Adrian spoke.

"So...little Dhampire; did you get the chance to read my dating proposal?"

I had gotten his proposal and to be honest he did make a very good argument about why we should be together. That's why when I looked up into his eyes I hated myself for what I was about to break his heart.

"Yes I have." I told him.

"And... " He asked, begging me to continue.

' Adrian, I... I'm sorry, I just can't." I told him simply. "I promised you a fair chance, I shouldn't have made that promise because there's no way that I can keep it, no matter how much I wish I could. I still love _him_. I still want to be with _him_. It wouldn't be fair to you if we started dating it wouldn't be giving you what I had promised by saying yes. We can never really be together, not when I still am in love with someone else. I'm sorry... "

The expression on his face contorted in pain. I had to keep telling myself that that pain was nothing in comparison to the pain he would feel if I allowed him in my life anymore than I already had.

"Rose-" Adrian started to protest, but I cut him off.

"You deserve better Adrian. I am not good for you, I can't give you what you want"

There was a long pause between us before Adrian spoke again. "Yeah, okay Rose" He whispered he would not look me in the eye, but I could still hear the pain in his words. How could I do this to him? He's been such a good friend to me and all I did was clean out his bank account, made a promise that couldn't keep and now I was causing him pain.

Just then Lissa walked up to us with Christian at her side. "Hey guys, ready for launch?" She asked. "I thought you'd be down there by now." An awkward silence filled between us all. Then abruptly, Adrian again broke it.

"Yeah a... I just remembered I have something... I need to do. See you all later." And with that he walked away.

"Wait!" I called after him. "Adrian!" He didn't even turn to look back at me he just kept walking towards guest housing.

"What was that about?" Christian asked. Lissa looked at me with curiosity. I just shook my head as a reply to both of them and we headed off to launch.

After lunch I went over to Adrian's. I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. Adrian, I'm sorry. I told him. I don't want to hurt you, your my friend please open the door. After about a half-hour of bagging and pleading with them to open up the door I descended to give up. He just needed time. I told myself. He would come around.

Before I knew it a week had passed, and I still hadn't seen Adrian. I was so worried about him. I thought about everything as I walked to the gym to meet Lissa for practice. I couldn't have hurt and not much, could I? She had to show up sometime. Didn't he? My phone vibrated pulling me from my thoughts. That was Lissa texting me.

Text Message from: Lissa

Tasha is here! Her and Chris are going to join us for practice! :) See you soon

I quickly typed a reply telling her I would be at the gym in five minutes, I pressed send .Then I continued walking down the hall. Sure enough. when I reached the gym I found Tasha, Christian and Lissa waiting for me.

"Hey guys!" I greeted them.

Lissa ran to give me a hug "Hi Rose." she said as she pulled me into vice tight hug. Christians stood behind her giving me a warm smile, which I returned.

After Lissa let go of me Tosh to him a to greet me, pulling me in to yet another hug. "It's nice to see you Rose" She told me.

It's nice to see you to Tasha. I replied, hugging her back.

We began practice with our warm-ups. Lissa and Christian did stretches, while Tasha and I did weights. Tasha and I sat next to each other on the bench. "You're doing a great thing here you know, teaching Lissa to defend herself. All Moroi should learn this." She said.

"I could get in a lot of trouble with this." I told her.

"I know, but you're doing the right thing" her words took me by surprise.

"Thanks Tasha." I said, giving her a warm smile.

We turned our attention back to the weights, ending the conversation. After my 50th curl up on my right arm the door creak open. All four of us turned to see who it was praying that it was not a Guardian. To everyone's surprise it was Adrian who walked in.

"Hello Adrian." Lissa greeted him

Adrian smiled and gave her a nod. "Cousin. "

Adrian leaned against the wall showing his usual devil-may-care attitude. I didn't dare look him in the eye. I was afraid of what I see, the pain, the sadness, all of which I caused.

"Rose?" Tasha asked

"Yeah, Tasha what is it?"

"Would you mind calling on the platforms with me?" she pointed to the various platforms set up in a military style obstacle course at the other end of the gym. The obstacle course had many latter's, ropes and steps. The highest point of the obstacle course was about three stories high. I didn't even like practicing on it.

"Have you ever been on one of those before Tasha?" I asked.

"Yeah I have, never one that big before though. It's great for your endurance and balance" She told me. I rolled my eyes at her and she laughed.

"I know" I said, a smirk on my face.

We made our way over to the obstacle course. We positioned ourselves in front of the rope ladder

"Go" I shouted.

We both took off at a tremendous speed. Tasha was faster than I anticipated. We've kept jumping from platform to platform, both of us trying to maintain an advantage over the other. Tasha was gaining on me. Her movements were swift and graceful, like that of a cat's. It took me by surprise. I never would've thought a Moroi could be this skilled.

Tasha and I were neck and neck, As far as speed was concerned we were an even mach. We reached the end of the obstacle course. There was a rope suspended from the top that was used to get back down. I nodded to Tasha, Giving her permission to go ahead of me.

Tosh grabbed the rope and lower herself but before she could even start making her way down I heard a snap. Then I heard Tasha scream. The hook from which the rope was secured and suspended had become detached, causing Tasha to fall to the ground. She had missed the mats, her whole body hit the laminate flooring of the gym full on.

"Tasha!" I screamed, but her body remained unmoving.


	8. Chapter 8

** Hey everyone, here is chapter 8! **** I hope you enjoy, please read and review. I love to hear what you have to say. I have some questions if anyone would like to answer them. How is my writing from a grammatical standpoint? What do you think I should work on in regards to my writing? Please tell me, I needed to know if I have any promise as a writer. **

** - Jess **

Chapter 8: Fear And Obligations

Rose's point of view 

**** _Continuation of flashback_ ****

I jumped down from the lowest platform near me, letting the balls of my heal absorb the impact. I ran two Tasha, as did the others. I knelt beside her and began to examine her carefully. I could hear a swirl of shouting from everyone in the room. I forcibly pushed that out in my mind, focusing on Tasha.

Her wasn't breathing and I could not feel her pulse. She was also unresponsive. I immediately began CPR. Frantically trying to breathe life back into her. Time was slipping away quickly. I realized my efforts to save her were useless when blood started to pool around her head.

"Someone go get help!" I shouted. Both Christian and Lissa bolted for the door to go get help.

"Move!" Adrian shouted at me, pushing me away.

"What are you doing!" I shouted.

Adrian placed his hands over Tasha's heart. He closed his eyes, his expression changed to one of concentration. Soon, beads of sweat formed on his skin. After about five minutes I heard a gasp of breath coming from Tasha and her eyes opened.

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked her.

"Yes" she answered, still breathless.

I was in shock. There was no doubt that Adrian Had Brought Tasha back to life. I just sat there, staring at them with wide eyes.

" Adrian?" I asked, my voice just a whisper. "Do you realize what you have just done?"

"I healed her." He answered. He was obviously very tired.

I shook my head. "You brought her back." I told him, there was wonder in my voice. I couldn't believe what I just witnessed. Seeing it was entirely different from experiencing it.

Just then, Christian and Lissa came rushing in with Alberta behind them.

"What happened?" Alberta asked. Christian and Lissa looked both confused, and relieved to see Tasha. "What happened?" Alberta asked again, a little harsher this time.

" Adrian, he... he brought Tasha, back" I explained, struggling to find the words. Alberto knew what I meant though.

"Lord Ivashkov, Lady Ozera, Shall I request assistance or can you manage to make it to the clinic If I accompany you?" She asked.

Adrian looked at Tasha. Start "I think it would be best sent for the medical team to take her there." He said, not taking his eyes half Tasha As he spoke.

Alberta gave a swift nod and then notified the infirmary over her radio, immediately helped came. They took Tasha away on a stretcher. Adrian stayed at her side, holding her hand as they made their way to the clinic. As for the rest of us, we all stared, dumbfounded as we tried to grasp what had just happened.

After both a train and Tasha got examined we were allowed to visit Tasha in the hospital. She seemed to be doing well. She was even smiling, not letting the reality of the fact that she had just died and then been brought back bring her mood down.

Tasha had a lot of questions for me about what it was like to be bonded to another person. I answered her questions as best as I could, telling her everything I had learned and warning her about the darkness.

"Rose?" She asked. "Well... well you help me...please?"

"Of course there will Tasha." I told her. "You're my friend." It was true, she was, and I would do whatever was in my power to help, not only for her but for Adrian too.

Tasha spent two nights in the infirmary, both of which Adrian stayed with her. I was surprised at how caring Adrian was towards Tasha. It was good that they got to spend that time together. They needed to learn more about each other.

I had seen a train in the hall a few times while he was on his way to go see Tasha

During those two days. He would say hi to me, but not much else. I began to wonder if our friendship would ever be the same again. I hoped they would but things didn't seem to be in my favor now days.

The next morning Tasha was scheduled to leave for Minneapolis. Lissa Christian and myself got up early to go with her very to the academies airstrip and say our goodbyes. This was around 6 PM human time and the sun was close to setting, testing and warm glow upon the sky.

I hope Tasha. Her luggage. And we all made our way down to the airstrip, all except for Adrian. I thought out of all the people, he would be the first one to come.

"Now Christian;" Tasha began. "Don't go too crazy with your new bike, be safe." She told him.

"You too." He replied, pulling her into a hug.

"Well, I guess I will see you all after school lets out." She said, directing attention to all three of us, Her eyes rested on me.

"Thank you so much Rose" She said, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"You're welcome." I told her. Tosh then put her lips to my ear.

"I know you miss him rose, but never forget that he loved you. Dmitri would be so proud." I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't find the words.

I knew her words were meant to comfort me, but all they did was remind me of something I was trying to forget. However, Tasha hadn't been aware of how much pain it caused me just hearing his name so I tried to smile at her anyway.

Just then we all turned to the sound of running feet and a string of profanities to see Adrian

running towards us.

"Sorry I'm late" he said.

"I thought you were bailing on me." She said well beaten him.

"We all thought he was." added Christian. What the hell were they talking about?

"Not a chance." Said Adrian. Upon closer examination I now noticed he had his suitcase in hand. Was he going to leave with Tasha? Surely he wouldn't, not without telling me. We tell each other everything. He would've told me if he was leaving, wouldn't he?

Apparently not. He followed Tasha passed the gate and started walking towards the plane before they boarded, Tasha and Adrian Turned to wave goodbye before taking their seats. I just stood there. I couldn't believe Adrian would just leave without saying goodbye. I guess I was just being selfish, thinking he would stick around after I had rejected him. But just because we couldn't be together didn't mean I no longer wanted to be his friend. Didn't he know that? I needed him. I needed my friend.

As I watched the plane take off I realized he had every right to leave. He had no obligation to stay for me. I was the one who failed him.

**** _End of flashback_ ****

I didn't care if Adrian was still mad at me. I leapt into his arms, giving him the biggest hug ever.

"Well hello to you too." He chuckled, returning the hug.

"I missed you so much." I told him. He pulled back to look me then.

"I know Rose, I've missed you too."

"You have?" I asked.

"Well duh! Tell me something little Dhampire, Have you hit your head recently?" Adrian asked jokingly.

"You left without telling me." I Explained.

"I'm sorry about that Rose, it was just something I had to do. I finally understand why it's so hard for you to stay away from Lissa. It makes you nervous because she is a part of you. That's how it is with Tasha and me now. I had to go with her." He told me in pleading voice.

" I understand." I said "I'm sorry I... I'm sorry that I hurt you though. I never...meant to, I wish I could-"

"It's okay Rose. You're still my friend."

I leaped forward to give you another hug "Thank you." I whispered into his shoulder.

We both pulled out of the embrace, walking into the restaurant. Adrian had his arm wrapped around my shoulders. He led me towards a table in the very back of the restaurant and we took our seats.

"So, how have you been?" Adrian asked me. There was a wary look on his face.

Of course he could see my aura, and he could see that everything was not okay. I could not lie my way out of this one. Maybe if I stick to the small stuff he won't notice I have more pressing issues.

"Well... I'm sick for starters. I have influenza, apparently." I said, not holding back my utter displeasure with this fact.

"That's no fun. Are you okay?" I could see that Adrian was concerned.

"Yeah I should be fine a couple days. It's no big deal." I told him.

"I hope you're right about that," Adrian said. "Tosh in I would hate to get sick when we come up and as you in a week. And if memory serves cracked you kill have a reputation to up hold which are politically see you to attend as many parties as humanly possible. You're graduating after all!" Adrian's face was alight with happiness; he truly was a good friend.

"Wow Adrian... I don't know what to say..." I began. How am I going to explain to him that Lissa Christian and myself are not at the Academy?

"Rose what's wrong" Adrian asked, disappointment written all over his face. "Aren't you happy that Tasha and I are coming up to see you?"

"I am but, um.. We aren't at the Academy." That was all I could manage to say.

"Waite... what? Where the hell are you then?" Adrian's face look shocked and more than a little disappointed.

"I have something I need to finish." I told him. "I can't tell you where I am."

"Your after him again aren't you?" Adrian asked. "Rose you have to stop this, it's not good for you. I don't want to see you get hurt! It's... this, chasing after him; it will kill you even if he doesn't kill you. It's too much... the pain from all this will kill you! You have to let him go."

"Never!" I shouted. "You don't understand."

"Don't for a second think that I don't understand!" Adrian shouted back.

"How can you?" I asked harshly.

Adrian's expression changed to one that was familiar to me but I couldn't recall where I'd seen it. His eyes seemed as though they were looking far away. His face shown with fear, panic, worry, love and most of all sadness. His eyes were ready to spill over with the tears he was trying so desperately to hold back. Suddenly, it hit me. This face was the same face I have been wearing since the day I lost Dmitri.

"Tasha..."That was all Adrian could say before his face contorted in pain, the pain I was way too familiar with.

"Adrian what's wrong?" I was frantic, I needed to take this pain away, to help in any way I could.

"I need your help Rose. I can't lose her! I love her!" He all but shouted.

It was clear to me now, Adrian was in love with Tasha and she was in some sort of trouble. Adrian was asking for my help, begging for it. There was no need, I would help him. I told them that much and Tasha, Tasha was my friend too.

"What is it Adrian? What's wrong with Tasha, tell me!" My voice was rising as my concern for the both of them grew.

"It's the darkness Rose." He clarified. "It's too much for her, she's scared and out of control. She cries every night. She says she can see ghosts everywhere and they will not leave her alone. I try to do as many healings as I can, but that only seems to make it worse. I've tried to make healing charms for her but they don't work."

"I think Liss and I my be able To help, but for now I think you guys should had to the Royal Court or the Academy, anywhere there is wards. The ghosts won't haunt her there."

Adrian let out a breath he was holding. "Think you." He said. Relief was clear in his features.

"You're welcome." I told him.

Silence fell over us. I began to sip at my water again. Adrian's eyes were on me, but it didn't seem as though he was staring at me. He was looking through me, looking at my aura. It made me feel uncomfortable that he could know exactly how I felt.

"You're still in so much pain." He said abruptly.

I nodded as a response. Tears began to run down my cheeks.

"There. There, Rose everything will be okay. Calm down." Adrian tried to Sooth me.

"No. It's not going to be okay Adrian." My voice was cracking, and I could see I was headed for a full-blown breakdown. Tears gushed down my face. "I am sick; Dmitri thinks I'm going to die and he wants to turn me. I am endangering Lissa and everyone else by having him near them. Thousands of strigoi want revenge on Dmitri and I for all we've done in Russia. On top of all that, where nowhere near finding Robert so he can restore Dmitri Back to a Dhampire!"

By this time I was near hysteric, choked sobs ripped through my chest and I found it harder to breathe. Adrian just stared wide-eyed at me concern and shock were the dominant expressions on his face. He had known about my plan to free Victor and find Robert in order to restore Dmitri. I think the rest took him by surprise though.

"You're with him now?" Adrian asked. I knew he was talking about Dmitri.

I nodded and then went on. "Adrian... the other guardians find out about everything I've done I won't be able to be a guardian. I'll be lucky if they don't lock me up. I won't have any hope of guarding Lissa." I took a deep breath in an effort to calm myself.

"You can't know that Rose, not for sure." He told me. "Don't think about that right now, just... stay safe."

I nodded and Adrian came over to help me out of my seat. I wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this." I apologized. Adrian pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead.

"It's okay Rose, get some sleep. Tasha And I will head to the Academy and wait till you get back. Thanks for your help and _please_ be careful Little Dhampire." Adrian's voice echoed through my ears as the scene before my eyes began to fade and I drifted into the normal blackness of sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'M BACK! Sorry for going all MIA on you, college can really take a lot out of a person. So much has changed in my life but my love for writing has remained the same. I promised myself awhile back that I would finish writing this and I still intend on doing that and doing it damn well too! I also want to let you know that I have another VA story in the works! I'll have to work on both stories in my free time but I will be finishing this one first!**

**PLEASE REVIEW It's what motivates me!**

– **Jess**

Chapter 9: A Turning Point

I'm not sure what time it was when I woke up. The sun was setting; soon the beginning of the vampire day would begin again. I had slept all through the 'night'. I felt hot underneath the covers, sweat coated my skin. My body throbbed with pain, but I didn't care. I was not going to lie around in bed all day no matter what Dmitri said. I got out of bed and went to my bathroom to take a bath.

I let the tub fill with steaming hot water before I stripped down and got into it. Once I did the steaming hot water immediately relaxed my aching muscles. I sat there, for once I didn't think of anything in particular. I washed my hair and rinsed it with cold water; it felt good against my hot skin. I hoped it would bring my fever down.

When I was finished, I wrapped a towel around myself and dried my hair; I decided to put some makeup on too. The less pail I was the better. When I was satisfied with my appearance I went back to my room to change. I picked out a pair of lightweight gray sweats, and a pink v-neck tee. I stepped into my running shoes and sauntered out of the room.

"Lissa!" I called from the hallway.

I heard movement in the kitchen so I headed towards there, I found Lissa sitting as the table eating some toast. She smiled at me when I entered the room. I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"You look much better." She stated. Good. "There's some waffles in the freezer."

"Yum!" I replied, Lissa laughed.

I took the waffles from the freezer and popped them in the toaster. When my waffles were done cooking I sat beside Lissa. "We need to go and practice after this." I told her.

"Are you sure your well enough?" She asked. There was concern in her eyes.

"Yes I am, can we go now?" I asked, my words came out harsher than I had intended.

"You won't be going anywhere!" Dimitri shouted. I turned to see him standing in the doorway.

"That's not for you to decide, _Dimitr_i." I told him curtly.

" Rose your not well enough." He replied through clenched teeth.

"Well I say I am!" I retorted, putting as much Rose Hathaway attitude into my words as I could. I could see that he was furious with me now. "You can't tell me what to do anymore, you're not my mentor." I continued.

Dimitri was at my side in a flash gripping my arm tightly. "Go to bed Roza." he commanded. My mind went blank and I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to do as he said. At that same moment I could feel Lissa's mood change, she was furious! The next thing I knew I was being pulled away by one of Abe's guardians.

As soon as I broke eye contact with Dimitri my head cleared up and I regained my self–awareness. Had Dimitri been compelling me to do what he wanted me to? My answer came in the form of angry shouts coming from Lissa, they were directed at Dimitri.

" How dare you? How DARE you COMPEL her, and IN FRONT OF ME! Big mistake!"

"Those are strong words for such a weak and defenseless Moroi Such as yourself. I'd be careful if I were you." Dimitri's voice was unrecognizable. Any trace of kindness or any other emotion besides hate or anger that I might have seen him before was gone. He was empty.

"Dimitri... stop." I pleaded but it was only a whisper.

No one paid attention to me. "I'm not as weak as you think, for all you know you might be the one who needs to be careful." Lissa words startled me

Dmitri began to chuckle. " With all due respect princess you can't even throw a good punch. Though I must say you certainly have a lot of guts standing up to a strigoi, let alone me."

" If you ever do that to her again I'll- "

" You'll what Vasilisa? You're powerless; I will do as I please with my Roza. It's for her own good." Dimitri's voice was eerily calm as he spoke.

Lissa's mood reached its peak of fury. I tried to maneuver out of the arms that restrained me but it was too late. I was immediately pulled into Lissa's head. I watched through her eyes as she pulled her arm back and punched Dimitri right in the face with all she had. As soon as he recovered from the blow Dmitri immediately took an offensive position.

I willed myself to move and put myself in between them. I stood in front of Lissa in a protective stance. "You have a choice to make." I told Dimitri, pleading with him with my eyes. "Make the right one. Nothing good will come from turning on each other."

I could feel Abe's guardians' eyes on us; I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. I kept my eyes on Dimitri, still pleading with him. "Please... don't do this. This isn't you, stop." As soon as I spoke those words Dmitri relaxed and stood upright moving to let Lissa and I pass. We made our way into the entree and walked out the door into the yard to practice.

Lissa and I started off with simple stretches. As I stretched I thought over what had just happened. He made the right choice I thought to myself. It was true; he refrained from hurting Lissa there _had_ to be some thing good left him. I let my thoughts comfort me before I was interrupted by Lissa's question.

" Rose; are we going to spar or not?" She asked.

"Yeah sure." I told her with slight apprehension. Lissa and I had only sparred a handful of times. "Remember Liss, stay focused and don't go for the obvious attack."

"Don't worry Rose, I think you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised." She replied.

With that we both crouched down in a fighting position. We circled each other like that for a while, both waiting for the other to make the first move. After about 10 minutes of this I, being the impatient person I am made the first move. I came at Lissa from my right, landing a blow to her left side with my fist.

She fell to the ground instantly, but managed to execute a perfect roundhouse kick, knocking my feet from under me. I quickly recovered, shooting up from the ground like a dark, as did Lissa. Immediately we began throwing punches at each other but it was no use every time one of us attacked the other blocked. I had to say Lissa's defense was improving tremendously. Still, that didn't stop me from easily pinning her to the ground. Once, twice and then again a third time. I thought I had her for a fourth time but she made a sudden, unexpected move.

I had a hold on Lissa by her hair. She never remembered to keep it in a tight bun to avoid situations like this. It didn't matter how many times I told her, she would always forget. I didn't expect what happened next… Lissa grabbed hold of my arm, turning her body she forced me to release my hold on her. In that same motion she practically threw me over her shoulder. I landed flat on my back, shocked and struggling to breathe with the wind knocked out of me.

Did I really just have my ass handed to me by a Moroi Princess?


End file.
